I was recently speaking to a male friend of mine who confessed that he had two separate dates lined up for the coming weekend. As an afterthought at the end of our conversation he asked me not to mention it to anyone, (so yes I’m writing a blog post about it), because, get this, he didn’t want people to think he was a slut.
A man was concerned about being seen as a slut. I was shocked.
I have only ever met two men who have expressed concerns about being viewed as sexually promiscuous whereas it is a fear that is present in pretty much every woman that I know.
As a general rule, it is women who are slut shamed, not men.
A woman doesn’t even have to sleep with anyone in order to be labelled a slut. She could still be a virgin but God forbid if she has male friends, wears revealing clothes, wears a lot of makeup or speaks to the bloody milkman too often then she runs the risk of being called a slut.
Unfair as it is, a guy can go out and sleep with three random girls in one night and receive praise for his actions whereas if a woman went out and slept with just one random man, she would be called all kinds of names by people attempting to shame her for embracing her sexuality.
This is not the greatest example but let’s just compare the treatment of celebrities who have worked as strippers in the past. Look at the difference between the way the media and society treated Channing Tatum and Amber Rose, (I’m expecting my friends to be impressed that I know who she is), because of their past professions. Amber Rose was humiliated and shamed for having worked as a stripper but Channing Tatum was celebrated and two movies were made about it.
Surely other people are able to see the double standards here? Why is it seen as acceptable to shame one sex but not the other when they are basically behaving in the same way?
We should not be shaming anyone, male or female, for having more than one date in the same weekend. We should not be shaming anyone, male or female, for stripping. We should not be shaming anyone, male or female, for engaging in safe, consensual sex once in a while. As long as nobody is getting hurt, we shouldn’t be shaming anyone for doing anything, ever.
Image via Jamie Noella.