Where Is This ‘Friendzone’ You Speak Of?

I have recently developed an issue with the term “friendzone.”

If you check out the term “friendzone” on Urban Dictionary this is what it tells us:

What you attain after you fail to impress a woman you’re attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, “You’re such a good friend”. Usually associated with long days of suffering and watching your love interest hop from one bad relationship to another. Verb tense is “Friend-ed”.
“I spent all that money on a date, just to find out she put me in the Friend Zone(said with eerie echo).”

“You know that hot girl I’ve been talking to? She just Friend-ed me.”

To me, this term seems to imply that a foolish woman has unfairly shoved a really sweet guy into a box labelled “we will never have sex.” It sets this “friendzone” up as a place where men are cruelly sent by heartless bitches who will never grant them access to what is inside their knickers.

How dare she?!

Surely by “friendzoning” a guy, a woman is doing nothing more than exercising her basic right to decide for herself who she has sex with.

The term seems to stem from the outrage experienced by men because a woman has had the sheer audacity to not find them attractive. The more I think about the fact this has now been given a name, the more ludicrous it seems to become.

Men do not have the right to fuck every single woman that they find attractive. Under no circumstances should women be made to feel guilty or shamed because they do not want someone’s penis inside them.

The entire existence of this imaginary place we have labelled as the “friendzone” is ridiculous and basically implies that men and women cannot be friends. Why? Well, if you are simply tolerating a friendship with a woman because you hope it will eventually result in sex with her then, I hate to break it to you, but that actually means you’re not her friend at all. It simply means you’re a douche.


9 thoughts on “Where Is This ‘Friendzone’ You Speak Of?

  1. YES!!! I wrote about this too, a while back, and it pisses me off! Women are not machines where you can put in “kindness coins” in and sex will come out! Absolutely brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. How dare people feel heartbroken!

    The problem with the friendzone discussion, is that both side demonize the desires of the other. Rejected someone? You’re a heartless person because you don’t want them. Got sad over rejection? Man up you whiny piece of shit! Nobody owes you sex! Besides, you only wanted sex from here, NO WAY you loved her.

    Let’s stop doing this, shall we? Let’s respect the desires of others. Let’s respect that people get hurt over rejection and that no one owes us friendship. Let’s respect not everyone will be attracted to us and if they don’t want us, let us go.

    Rejection isn’t about the poor rejector feeling objectified, or the poor rejected not getting a romantic relationship. It’s about both parties.


    • You’re right that each side is demonised for their feelings and in no way am I trying to belittle anyone’s feeling of rejection but in my experience “friendzone” tends to be used by guys to describe women they have just met and haven’t developed meaningful feelings for – this probably says more about the kind of men I know than anything else though! I don’t understand why rejecting someone/ being rejected has been labelled and is now used as a way to shame either party!


  3. I always thought friendzone was the opposite of that. A guy has strong feelings for someone and gets in well with them. Feelings keep developing but the other person is not interested. Nothing to do with sex at all, just that the other person doesn’t feel the same way. There may not have even been a date as the other person goes out with someone else. Even though that person has feelings for them they know they will only be a friend. They end up hearing all the problems this person is having with their new love.


    • It must be being used in a few different contexts now, I only seem to hear it from guys complaining that women they have just met are friendzoning them. A guy I met at the gym recently accused me of friendzoning him because I wouldn’t give him my phone number, despite the fact he knows I’m a lesbian who is in a relationship! Like anything in language, it is probably just developing different, and unfortunately negative, meanings as time goes on.


  4. Pingback: SUNSHINE BLOG AWARD – The Great Journey

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s